Ken: Eat Me!

Hey everyone, Ken E. here. Since I started this blog, I’ve endeavored to bring you guys the most interesting (if sometimes questionable) facts from history. However, few stories have freaked me out nearly as much as this next story. I hope you didn’t have a rich lunch, because you might feel a little queasy jumping into this pool.

I have a Native American friend who likes to tell me stories about the Red Haired Giants anytime we’re sitting around a bonfire. Apparently, thousands of years before any white men “found” the New World, the Native American people were locked in a brutal war against a tribe of giants with (you guessed it) red hair. These legends are among the oldest of the Native Paiute people’s oral history. The tales talk of cannibalistic, 12-foot giant who viciously attacked Native American settlements and carried off screaming women and children for food. The Paiute called these giants Si-Te-Cah. After decades of battle, the ancient Paiute army finally cornered the last of the giants in a cave and burned them to death.

Now, here’s the creepiest part. In 1911, a group of guano miners who were searching the Lovelock Cave in Nevada, uncovered an odd assortment of human remains dating back as far as 1500 BCE. There were claw marks on the cave walls as well as other evidence that this group of people died in a fire. But how big were they, you ask? Good question. Many of the skeletons exhumed were between 9 and 12 feet tall.

Of course, I didn’t even get to tell you about the red-haired giants found in China, which just makes you wonder if there are still red-haired giants living in a remote cave anywhere else in the world today.

That’s all for me today. This morning, I found a note on my door saying, “They’re coming for you!” I don’t know who left this note, but I’m going to try to keep my head down for a bit. If I don’t see you next week, take care…and open a history book for Nemed’s sake!